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I have not been keeping up with my writing and journaling as much as I wanted. This semester (as well as the last) have been grinding me down. I feel as if the classes I am taking are way more difficult then they should be. There is no reason why I have to spend 4+ hours a week on an introductory IT class. I am absolutely positive that the professor realizes it’s a bullshit class yet makes the workload 3 times harder and more tedious than it should be. That’s community college for you though… Nothing but underpaid and underqualified (for the most part) instructors who either were too lazy or too unintelligent to become a no shit “professor”. Clearly this isn’t always the case, however, this has been my experience.

Despite being a member of Phi Theta Kappa, a member of the National Leadership Society, and maintaining above a 3.8 GPA, I was denied admission to a certain college in the Metropolitan, DC, MD, and Northern Virginia area. This particular school is competitive…but not THAT competitive. I received that lovely letter a few days prior to Christmas. 

Merry fucking Christmas bitch, wanted to let you know that you weren’t good enough for our institution, best of luck with your future studies..

That is how I read the letter. Needless to say I was pissed. Actually, rageful is a better adjective to use. Why am I spending hours and hours doing schoolwork when I see NO benefits to it? I’m just curious with my situation because I am confided to where I live currently. I do not have the money/ resources to up and move anywhere I want. If that were the case, I would already be happily living in Colorado, going to a chill ass liberal arts school, and puffing on the finest green that CO has to offer. Sadly, I’m basically fucked and restricted to a subpar existence in a small ass town. Fuck my life…

Good news is that my studies have kept my mind off the ex. Sent her a New Years text that went I responded to and I vowed to myself that would be the last attempt of communicating with her. So far I have kept that bow, sadly, I know that the next time I choose to get fucked up that I will most likely send another text.

She is now dating one of my high school friends (former friend actually). I only know because I’ve been told…like I really need that information. Every time I hear about that shit I just envision someone driving a fucking knife through my chest…probably would deal with that feeling more than the news of what the ex is doing. Another God damn reason to move to the mountains of Colorado. I have balls, but not enough balls to drop everything and drive west… In all honesty though that is exactly what I need…

Will post more soon…